Listening: A gift fit for a king

A quick testimony to the power of the non-word -- and a tool for using it.

As a journalist, I'm paid to listen well, at least enough to accurately relay people's accounts to the masses.

I've also studied martial arts and psychology, women's circles and Unitarian Universalism, massage therapy and intuitive hearling, and listening's at the heart of these, too.

So when I join my New Age friends in saying that we're in a planet-sized crisis, I add that we CAN solve it -- by helping more people learn how to really listen.

I blogged in late January about how Lionel Logue, a speech therapist who both treated and befriended the Duke of York in the early 1900s, is portrayed in the film “The King's Speech.” The Duke's stammer eased because of the trust and commitment the two men shared, but I think the main reason is because Lionel knew how to listen.

As a child, the Duke's father and other relatives shamed and threatened him constantly over his shyness and, eventually, his stammer. This bullying eviscerated his sense of personal power and competence. So when Lionel met the stammering with a mix of tools, encouragement and desire to hear what the Duke had to say -- without shaming him! -- many of the old beliefs began to crumble away.

And here's your tool for the day, to get you one step closer to helping dukes become kings:

Next time someone's talking with you about something important to them, give this a try: just listen.

Don't fix, don't weigh in, don't argue... Don't tell them how your Aunt Sally had the same thing happen to her once in Peoria.

Just listen.

The coup de grace? When they're done, say back what you heard them say, and ask if you got it right or missed anything.

The power of that gift can change relationships, lives, and -- I believe -- the world.