I have a "spam account" e-mail address that I use whenever a business requires one for marketing purposes. It's through Yahoo!, which lists the latest news headlines on its e-mail landing page -- whether you want them or not.
Now, I spent nearly six years at a daily newspaper, most of them as an editor who scanned the newswires and posted content nearly constantly each day. In that time, I saw (and shared with the world) thousands of articles, most of which involved some form of horror: sex crimes, street violence, nasty crashes, child abuse, political scandals and award shows (the latter being a kind of mashup of all the others).
It's the focus on horror that turned me -- and many, many former readers -- off to much of the newspaper life. But the sad fact is, we humans are hard-wired to respond to the titillating and the terrifying. Time and again I saw it: the mayhem stories got anywhere from three to 10 times as much traffic as the "good news" articles on local kids doing well, politicians actually doing their jobs, elders sharing their adventures and wisdom.
The only "good news" that came remotely close to generating such numbers invariably involved cute animals.
I'm sure it's got something to do with our ancient survival needs. The caveman who didn't instantly give attention to something alarming was likely the caveman who didn't survive to pass his genes down to a new generation. But surely we've evolved enough to focus our collective attention on things besides fear and sex today.
I finally changed the settings on that e-mail account to the latest sports headlines, so the first thing I see is something mind-bogglingly repetitive about people and places and sports I've never heard of: "Pedroyak settles negotiations with Aspen State" or "Black scores 20 in final ATC round." No one announcing someone's horrible death while I check for coupons from Save-A-Lot. No one describing the latest drama in a pedophilia case while I click through the day's online comic strips.
Still, I sometimes wonder if I'm missing out on something important. "Puppies save the day at local orphanage," for instance. Oh, well. One of these days, they'll save a golf caddy instead, and I'll be the first to know.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
The scariest words I can say: "I deserve money."
"And photos?"
I doubt the editor knew how much that pair of words cost me. Two minutes earlier, I'd braved a whole sentence asking how much her company pays for freelance articles. And now, I wanted more.
In essence, I'd just declared out loud -- twice! -- "I am doing this for money. Your money. Give lots of it to me."
Like many people whose bachelor's degree ends with the initial "A" for "Arts," I'm plagued with an aversion to numbers and discomfort around discussing money. Working for a direct deposit paycheck, as I did for the past 10 years, worked wonderfully for me. I did my job, the little numbers in my online checking account grew bigger and smaller every two weeks, everything was peachy. Raises were annual and pretty much automated, as I accepted at face value the giant corporate mystic pronouncements involving "cost of living" and "the economy" and "congratulations."
But now, I'm freelancing. Now, I have to deal with these things or the money doesn't get dealt. Now, I have to confront the fact that I would rather fish through Dumpsters and mooch off loved ones' couches than actually ask people to trade me money for my labors.
It's slightly comforting to know I'm not alone in this. One of my favorite stories on the topic is from a Manhattan publishing executive. At least once a year, she said, each of her male employees would come to her office unsolicited to share their accomplishments, present their ideas for the future and request a significant promotion or raise. Most of the time, they got what they asked for.
The number of female employees who did the same, over the course of her 20-year management career?
Zero.
I tell this to every woman friend who's shared her anxiety about asking for compensation for her work. "Wow," they reply. "Yeah. We should totally ask for what we deserve!"
And then we go on not asking.
Until today. Today was different. I had a long-awaited interview for a job I'm highly qualified for, eager to take on and excited to share with the world. I had work samples printed, story pitches prepared and an attitude of cheerful confidence. The editor seemed eager to have me, too. And then I did it. I asked my worth.
She told me what the publication pays. A flat fee for a regular a story. Up to twice that if it's a complicated piece that gets a center spread.
The prices are fair. Industry standard. I knew, because I had looked them up in the Bible of freelance writing and on job boards and through online organizations. I'd done my research, I'd done my basic duty. And I'd also read dozens of professional advice pages that urged: "Ask for more. Go on. Find a way!"
So I said it:
"And photos?"
A flat fee per published shot -- "but for a photo package, we'll have to negotiate on a case-by-case basis."
First hurdle cleared -- I've asked to be paid. Next -- I'll negotiate when I have something strong to offer in return. Because I should totally ask for what I deserve.
And this time, I'm actually going to.
***
Here's some online resources that have helped me out. Which ones did I miss that have worked for you?
1. She Negotiates - a site boosting women's professional assertiveness - www.shenegotiates.com
2. About.com's Career Planning page - plenty of articles on the fine art of asking for what you want and deserve - http://careerplanning.about.com/od/negotiatingoffers/Negotiating.htm
3. Editorial Freelancers Association - a list of some standard industry rates - http://the-efa.org/res/rates.php
4. Daily Worth - free daily money tips for women - www.dailyworth.com
I doubt the editor knew how much that pair of words cost me. Two minutes earlier, I'd braved a whole sentence asking how much her company pays for freelance articles. And now, I wanted more.
In essence, I'd just declared out loud -- twice! -- "I am doing this for money. Your money. Give lots of it to me."
Like many people whose bachelor's degree ends with the initial "A" for "Arts," I'm plagued with an aversion to numbers and discomfort around discussing money. Working for a direct deposit paycheck, as I did for the past 10 years, worked wonderfully for me. I did my job, the little numbers in my online checking account grew bigger and smaller every two weeks, everything was peachy. Raises were annual and pretty much automated, as I accepted at face value the giant corporate mystic pronouncements involving "cost of living" and "the economy" and "congratulations."
But now, I'm freelancing. Now, I have to deal with these things or the money doesn't get dealt. Now, I have to confront the fact that I would rather fish through Dumpsters and mooch off loved ones' couches than actually ask people to trade me money for my labors.
It's slightly comforting to know I'm not alone in this. One of my favorite stories on the topic is from a Manhattan publishing executive. At least once a year, she said, each of her male employees would come to her office unsolicited to share their accomplishments, present their ideas for the future and request a significant promotion or raise. Most of the time, they got what they asked for.
The number of female employees who did the same, over the course of her 20-year management career?
Zero.
I tell this to every woman friend who's shared her anxiety about asking for compensation for her work. "Wow," they reply. "Yeah. We should totally ask for what we deserve!"
And then we go on not asking.
Until today. Today was different. I had a long-awaited interview for a job I'm highly qualified for, eager to take on and excited to share with the world. I had work samples printed, story pitches prepared and an attitude of cheerful confidence. The editor seemed eager to have me, too. And then I did it. I asked my worth.
She told me what the publication pays. A flat fee for a regular a story. Up to twice that if it's a complicated piece that gets a center spread.
The prices are fair. Industry standard. I knew, because I had looked them up in the Bible of freelance writing and on job boards and through online organizations. I'd done my research, I'd done my basic duty. And I'd also read dozens of professional advice pages that urged: "Ask for more. Go on. Find a way!"
So I said it:
"And photos?"
A flat fee per published shot -- "but for a photo package, we'll have to negotiate on a case-by-case basis."
First hurdle cleared -- I've asked to be paid. Next -- I'll negotiate when I have something strong to offer in return. Because I should totally ask for what I deserve.
And this time, I'm actually going to.
***
Here's some online resources that have helped me out. Which ones did I miss that have worked for you?
1. She Negotiates - a site boosting women's professional assertiveness - www.shenegotiates.com
2. About.com's Career Planning page - plenty of articles on the fine art of asking for what you want and deserve - http://careerplanning.about.com/od/negotiatingoffers/Negotiating.htm
3. Editorial Freelancers Association - a list of some standard industry rates - http://the-efa.org/res/rates.php
4. Daily Worth - free daily money tips for women - www.dailyworth.com
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
So you want to be a writer...
In which our heroine attempts to give quality Advice...
A college student who loves writing e-mailed recently to ask for career advice. “I heard you were a writer...” she said.
As soon as I climbed off the ceiling from the delight of being so recognized, I put together this response. May it be of help to aspiring writers everywhere!
***
Thanks so much for reaching out! I've had a life-long passion for writing, and I'm happy to pass on some of what I've learned.
I majored in English at a small private college, taking courses ranging from journalism to creative writing to storytelling to poetry. These helped me bring a strong understanding of the writing and editing process to my work at newspapers over the past decade.
As a journalist and, later, a business entrepreneur, I continued my studies in areas that I wish I'd explored more as an undergraduate: basic business operations and finance, political science, psychology, sociology, history, religion and economics. Learning is a lifelong process, but I've found that having a broad-based understanding of the underpinnings of our society and how people relate to one another is incredibly helpful as a reporter and writer.
Probably the most important advice I can give, however, is to take advantage of as many opportunities as you possibly can for volunteering, internships, travel abroad, networking with highly experienced and successful people from all fields (not just writing!), and on-the-job learning.
Let me know what areas of interest you have around writing and any other specific questions -- I'm always glad to help.
***
And that goes for you, too, dear reader!
A college student who loves writing e-mailed recently to ask for career advice. “I heard you were a writer...” she said.
As soon as I climbed off the ceiling from the delight of being so recognized, I put together this response. May it be of help to aspiring writers everywhere!
***
Thanks so much for reaching out! I've had a life-long passion for writing, and I'm happy to pass on some of what I've learned.
I majored in English at a small private college, taking courses ranging from journalism to creative writing to storytelling to poetry. These helped me bring a strong understanding of the writing and editing process to my work at newspapers over the past decade.
As a journalist and, later, a business entrepreneur, I continued my studies in areas that I wish I'd explored more as an undergraduate: basic business operations and finance, political science, psychology, sociology, history, religion and economics. Learning is a lifelong process, but I've found that having a broad-based understanding of the underpinnings of our society and how people relate to one another is incredibly helpful as a reporter and writer.
Probably the most important advice I can give, however, is to take advantage of as many opportunities as you possibly can for volunteering, internships, travel abroad, networking with highly experienced and successful people from all fields (not just writing!), and on-the-job learning.
Let me know what areas of interest you have around writing and any other specific questions -- I'm always glad to help.
***
And that goes for you, too, dear reader!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Listening: A gift fit for a king
A quick testimony to the power of the non-word -- and a tool for using it.
As a journalist, I'm paid to listen well, at least enough to accurately relay people's accounts to the masses.
I've also studied martial arts and psychology, women's circles and Unitarian Universalism, massage therapy and intuitive hearling, and listening's at the heart of these, too.
So when I join my New Age friends in saying that we're in a planet-sized crisis, I add that we CAN solve it -- by helping more people learn how to really listen.
I blogged in late January about how Lionel Logue, a speech therapist who both treated and befriended the Duke of York in the early 1900s, is portrayed in the film “The King's Speech.” The Duke's stammer eased because of the trust and commitment the two men shared, but I think the main reason is because Lionel knew how to listen.
As a child, the Duke's father and other relatives shamed and threatened him constantly over his shyness and, eventually, his stammer. This bullying eviscerated his sense of personal power and competence. So when Lionel met the stammering with a mix of tools, encouragement and desire to hear what the Duke had to say -- without shaming him! -- many of the old beliefs began to crumble away.
And here's your tool for the day, to get you one step closer to helping dukes become kings:
Next time someone's talking with you about something important to them, give this a try: just listen.
Don't fix, don't weigh in, don't argue... Don't tell them how your Aunt Sally had the same thing happen to her once in Peoria.
Just listen.
The coup de grace? When they're done, say back what you heard them say, and ask if you got it right or missed anything.
The power of that gift can change relationships, lives, and -- I believe -- the world.
As a journalist, I'm paid to listen well, at least enough to accurately relay people's accounts to the masses.
I've also studied martial arts and psychology, women's circles and Unitarian Universalism, massage therapy and intuitive hearling, and listening's at the heart of these, too.
So when I join my New Age friends in saying that we're in a planet-sized crisis, I add that we CAN solve it -- by helping more people learn how to really listen.
I blogged in late January about how Lionel Logue, a speech therapist who both treated and befriended the Duke of York in the early 1900s, is portrayed in the film “The King's Speech.” The Duke's stammer eased because of the trust and commitment the two men shared, but I think the main reason is because Lionel knew how to listen.
As a child, the Duke's father and other relatives shamed and threatened him constantly over his shyness and, eventually, his stammer. This bullying eviscerated his sense of personal power and competence. So when Lionel met the stammering with a mix of tools, encouragement and desire to hear what the Duke had to say -- without shaming him! -- many of the old beliefs began to crumble away.
And here's your tool for the day, to get you one step closer to helping dukes become kings:
Next time someone's talking with you about something important to them, give this a try: just listen.
Don't fix, don't weigh in, don't argue... Don't tell them how your Aunt Sally had the same thing happen to her once in Peoria.
Just listen.
The coup de grace? When they're done, say back what you heard them say, and ask if you got it right or missed anything.
The power of that gift can change relationships, lives, and -- I believe -- the world.
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